No pressure, no diamonds.

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After practicing Kundalini Yoga and Meditation for almost 8 years, I’m constantly amazed at how it works and how it transforms personalities. It stretches us beyond our physical and mental limits. The transformation in Kundalini Yoga is often referred to as magic or alchemy, as this is exactly what happens.

When we stay in a certain posture for a while we are applying pressure on the body and mind. And this pressure is crucial for a process of purification and healing. The question is what are you going to do with that pressure? Are you going to surrender to it or give into the pressure. The more you surrender to it and let it work on you, the more purification and transformation happens. It’s all about your commitment and how much you’re going to invest of yourself. This is why there’s no initiation in Kundalini Yoga as our effort and commitment is a self-initiation process.

And this is exactly how diamonds are created! Diamonds and coal are both made out of the same material – carbon. The difference is the amount of pressure that is applied to it. There’s obviously greater pressure applied to the diamond and significantly less to the coal. People who do turn up to Kundalini Yoga classes and commit to a Kriya (set of exercises) are pressurised and go through the purification process which in time transforms them into ‘diamonds’. They are strong, beautiful, glowing and pure. That’s the alchemy. "If it’s so great why isn't everybody doing it?" you may ask. The answer is - mind. Mind is hardwired to move us towards pleasure and away from pain. Mind will avoid pressure at all cost. However Kundalini Yoga has some great tools on how to train the mind, to go beyond its limits and help us grow and expand. You don’t even need to practice Kundalini Yoga to understand this. Life too throws many pressures on us to make us grow and shine.

It’s natural for me to see potential in people and put them under pressure, to get the diamond out and let them shine. This is what I do in yoga all the time. Job of a teacher is to poke, provoke, confront and elevate.

Though it is funny when it happens the other way round. I was in a situation recently where I was being pressurised by someone, it taught me a great lesson... I’m trying to learn how to play harmonium at the moment which is a little challenging for me(pain). My partner was saying that I don’t practice enough and I’m not ready for an upcoming performance (applying pressure to me). This hit a big resistance in me, and at first, brought some anger and fear. The resistance is a natural reaction of the mind. Yogi Bhajan said "When the time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off." This is when the teachings come in very useful. So after feeling a little sorry for myself, ('oh my bruised ego,') I made a plan of playing harmonium twice a day and I’m loving it. I’m learning, stretching and growing again. Thank you for the pressure. No pressure, no diamond. 

I wish you all to grow and shine and go beyond any limitations!

This Girl Can

 This post won’t be about achievements we traditionally perceive.  I have no intentions of showing off, proving myself or craving any admiration. I would like to invite you to my world just as it is at the moment. Raw, vulnerable and real.  After recent death of my parents, my life turned upside down. And I’m not taking about headstand. Unless one stays in the headstand for months because this is exactly how I’m feeling right now.  Everything I was proud of and defined by in the past has disappeared. My vitality, radiance, positive energy, passion for life, divine practice, pure and simple mind, sense of security and support. It’s all gone. Just like my parents are gone. And it hurts, really hurts. Physically, mentally and emotionally!  So when I made the poster “This girl can” I meant:  This girl can get to work after sleepless nights.  This girl can face life even tho there seems to be no point.  This girl can show up beside enormous pain she is in.  This girl can feel sadness, loss, depression, frustration, anger, hopelessness and betrayal sometimes all in one hour.  This girl can walk even tho crawling seems like too much.  But I’ve made friends with grief now. We are getting closer now and understand each other more. I know this grief is simply love that took a different form. Nothing ever disappears, it just changes its form. So my parents haven’t disappear neither, and my vitality, radiance and all the things I’ve mentioned above. They are all there, they just look differently. I need to keep my eyes, ears, mind and all my senses open as they are not the same as they used to be. This situation, yet again, is calling for my awareness, presence, innocence and openness. And this understanding helps me get out of bed as difficult as it is often times.  I’m grateful for sleepless nights for finally I understand insomniacs who come to my classes.  I’m grateful for depression because I forgot what it feels like (that’s what Kundalini Yoga does to you). Now I will be able to have more empathy for people who suffer with depression and help them overcome it.  I’m grateful for grief because grief is love. And as hard as it is at times, I still remember the primal truth “We are love”  This girl can… LOVE  Sat nam! 

This post won’t be about achievements we traditionally perceive.  I have no intentions of showing off, proving myself or craving any admiration. I would like to invite you to my world just as it is at the moment. Raw, vulnerable and real.

After recent death of my parents, my life turned upside down. And I’m not taking about headstand. Unless one stays in the headstand for months because this is exactly how I’m feeling right now.

Everything I was proud of and defined by in the past has disappeared. My vitality, radiance, positive energy, passion for life, divine practice, pure and simple mind, sense of security and support. It’s all gone. Just like my parents are gone. And it hurts, really hurts. Physically, mentally and emotionally!

So when I made the poster “This girl can” I meant:

This girl can get to work after sleepless nights.

This girl can face life even tho there seems to be no point.

This girl can show up beside enormous pain she is in.

This girl can feel sadness, loss, depression, frustration, anger, hopelessness and betrayal sometimes all in one hour.

This girl can walk even tho crawling seems like too much.

But I’ve made friends with grief now. We are getting closer now and understand each other more. I know this grief is simply love that took a different form. Nothing ever disappears, it just changes its form. So my parents haven’t disappear neither, and my vitality, radiance and all the things I’ve mentioned above. They are all there, they just look differently. I need to keep my eyes, ears, mind and all my senses open as they are not the same as they used to be. This situation, yet again, is calling for my awareness, presence, innocence and openness. And this understanding helps me get out of bed as difficult as it is often times.

I’m grateful for sleepless nights for finally I understand insomniacs who come to my classes.

I’m grateful for depression because I forgot what it feels like (that’s what Kundalini Yoga does to you). Now I will be able to have more empathy for people who suffer with depression and help them overcome it.

I’m grateful for grief because grief is love. And as hard as it is at times, I still remember the primal truth “We are love”

This girl can… LOVE

Sat nam! 

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How conscious is your shit?

If today you were able to eat any food, consider yourself lucky.

If today you were able to digest and shit that food, consider yourself lucky.

I know most of you have never heard me swearing or talking about such basic physiological needs but life is not only happy, healthy and holy. Life is a combination of our basic body needs, struggles and achievements of your mind and desires and suffering of our spirit. I still do pray our lives are as happy, healthy and holy as possible but reality is often slightly different from the ideal concept.

I had a powerful reality check recently… More about it soon..

I had a very enlightening moment today. It wasn’t during sadhana or meditation. I was sitting on a loo and for the first time ever I thought I’m so fortunate and blessed having shit. My body is working so well for me and supporting me in everything I do. My body is a beautiful machine and allows me to live a more conscious life and help others to do likewise.

Where is this enlightening from? That’s my reality check.. Over last few days I’ve been serving my dad as he is suffering with stage four liver cancer. It’s so difficult to see him in such state that my eye got swollen and something popped out on my eyelid. He had so little food this week and hasn’t been to toilet once. So that’s our prayer – that his body starts functioning better and we can fight this awful disease.

My dad was an athlete, a parachuter and a hero in general in my eyes. He is an example of the most wonderful masculine energy that I truly admire. So seeing him losing so much weight and not being able to walk to a garden is truly heartbreaking.

And that’s my reality check. It’s fascinating how one’s perspective changes in situation like that.. How priorities change.

I’m feeling very lucky I could shit today. I’m feeling lucky I could pray and support my family and myself. This feeling of gratitude is the only tool I have that gives me strength and I can look at my dad with a smile on my face and say ‘We can do it together. We are an awesome team’

So next time you shit, be conscious of it. Be grateful for your body is functioning well and will help you to live more aware life and serve your soul purpose. Be conscious of your shit!

P.S. I wrote that 6 days before my dad died. I came to Poland two weeks before this passing and it was one of the most challenging, painful and terrifying times in my life. However, I’m very grateful I was with him as he felt very loved, cared for and supported by my sister and I.

P.S. 2. Dad, we are an awesome team! Forever    

 

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