Daria practicing yoga in Cambodia 2010
Let me take you 10 years back. In May 2010 I was travelling in India by myself. Travelling is probably too much of a word, as I was mainly staying in various ashrams and doing tons of yoga. I was young, thirsty for life and keen to try anything related to yoga and spirituality. And this is how I ended up in a Kundalini Yoga class. At one of the ashram where I was staying, there was a Swedish guy - whose name I don’t even know and he still has no idea how significant he is in my life. He just finished his teacher training and wanted to get some practice teaching so he offered us a Kundalini Yoga class. He wasn’t wearing whites or turban, I remember his surfer shorts well but the class blew my mind. I was not the same person after that class. At this point I was practicing yoga for about 4 years and never felt like that before. They say that Kundalini awakens the nerve of the soul, and I think this is what happened to me then. Soon after, I found another Kundalini Yoga teacher in the Himalayas and practiced with her twice a day for the whole of my time in Dharamsala, India. I knew this was the practice for me. And 10 years later, I still know - this is the practice for me.
As a way of celebration, I’ve listed 10 things I’ve learned in those 10 years of my Kundalini yoga adventure. The order is random and this list could be much longer but I’m limiting it to 10.
1. I AM WHO I AM
Being comfortable with being myself is first on the list and it’s probably not a coincident. How valuable it that? Practicing Kundalini yoga and meditation gave me enough courage and patience to get to know myself on a deeper level and accept all parts of myself. Those parts that started to really shine and those darker parts that I finally allowed myself to see. I don’t need to hide them anymore, all my flaws, past experiences, unpopular personality traits – this is all who I am. They are my gifts. They allow me to be more compassionate, authentic and balanced human being. I’ve spend very long time hiding all not-that-perfect aspects of my life and it was exhausting! It seemed like I was more busy showing that I’m not who they I think I am than actually being myself. Trying to fit in, please others and live up to their expectations was more important that listening to myself. It’s difficult to be myself when other people’s opinions come first. It’s such a relief to welcome the whole of me and just be. I am who I am.
2. JOY
I never knew I could experience joy and happiness on such deep level. 10 years ago I was a happy clapper, and I wanted to see positivity and happiness everywhere but it was very shallow. Often, I was making myself positive to ‘cover’ all the sadness, grief or pain I was really feeling. Once I allowed myself to feel all and not judge it as positive or negative - I went deeper. It made me realise a lot of my programming and patterns that needed healing. It wasn’t always easy and lovely journey but the one really worth embarking on. It gave me opportunity to experience immense joy for no reason at all. There is nothing wrong with being happy with a reason attached but knowing there is that inner unconditional joy within us is priceless. We are the source of this happiness.
3. WONDERS OF THE INNER WORLD
10 years ago, I had not idea how exciting and fascinating it can be watching my own mind. I was a beginner meditator and meditation was tricky at best and dull at worst. Ten years later, after hours of meditation, I can’t wait to close my eyes again and see what happens. Our minds are so fascinating, we are much more that we can see and touch and that’s just one of the reasons to give meditation a try. Spending time with myself in silence helps me to connect on a deeper level with myself and the whole Universe. This is the rabbit hole to go down to, connecting with wonders of the inner world. Watching my own mind is much more fascinating than watching television, for sure.
4. BEING COMFORTABLE WITH DISCOMFORT
Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is the big teaching of Kundalini Yoga. If you’ve tried a class once you know that at some point it will get uncomfortable holding posture for a certain period of time etc. However, during the class you have so many things supporting you, such as breathe, mantra, music, group energy, teachers encouragement and so on. And more often that not, you will find yourself staying in the ’discomfort’ for much longer that you thought was possible. Once you had that experience on the mat, you will take it off the mat, to your daily life when often we are faced with uncomfortable situations, diversity and difficulty that can’t be avoided. What’s your attitude then? Years of Kundalini yoga practice taught me to breathe in uncomfortable situations, use mantra, call upon forces bigger than me and trust I can do it. I used to run away from difficulty, that running probably even got me to Manchester which is great, but there is massive growth that comes from just sitting with adversity and learning from it, freeing ourselves from it. This is how we become free.
5. ORDINARY BECOMES EXTRAORDINARY
One of my favourite benefits of the practice is that ordinary things become extraordinary. My life is probably much simpler than 10 years ago yet it’s much richer, meaningful and peaceful that ever before. This one is very difficult to explain, somehow that connection with one’s soul makes everything very special. I can be walking in the park and having the most blissful time or having simple rice and dhal but it seems like the best meal ever. In my opinion, this is very empowering, as it appears like I don’t need much to have the most extraordinary life. Back in the day, I though I can be happy when I have X or Y, now I know that external factors are secondary and my inner landscape is primary.
6. IT’S ALL BLESSING
Acceptance is quality of a pure heart centre and strong meditative mind. Seeing beauty and blessings in all the situations is another side effect of practicing Kundalini yoga and meditation. It was personally, a big lesson to me. In the past I was only accepting good and happy situations, when difficulty aroused I wanted to get rid of it as quickly as possible. All those years of practice strengthen my nervous system and gave me a lot of trust so now I have more ability to see positive and negative experiences as equal. They both teach me a lot about myself and the world around me. They both appear in my life for a reason. They both are perfect. Disclaimer: it still is a daily practice to see beauty and blessings in all.
7. HARD WORK
I must be honest. Being a yogini it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. It does take hard work and a lot of courage to dive deep into oneself. One can be confronted by the ego, negative mind and many other factors. However, if that confrontation is approached consciously with open mind and open heart; it becomes yet another opportunity to free oneself. It takes a lot of practice to have that attitude of openness and self-compassion. Cutting through our attachments, patterns and habitual behaviour isn’t an easy job but the results are worth the effort. 10 years ago, I had no idea how much sacrifice, commitment and discipline this path required but I would never change it. And don’t get me wrong, I still have moments when I fall off the path, skip my practice or choose to have a cake instead of sitting with the pain when it seems too much. It’s a hard work at times and it needs to be balanced with moments of rest and relaxation.
8. CONNECTION
What do I mean by connection? Connection to my body – loving and accepting my body as it is. Connection to my mind – cultivating awareness and relationship with my mind thru meditation. Connection with others – seeing others as equal; creating relationships with others to inspire, support and elevate each other. Connection with nature – nature as a teacher, guide and that which sustains us. And finally - connection with the Universe – something greater than myself, that magic, that divine energy that we all share. 10 years ago ‘We are One’ was just a great slogan, now I feel it in my body, mind and soul.
9. COMMUNITY
The beautiful people I meet because of Kundalini Yoga is priceless. I’m talking about my teachers, fellow yoga teachers and students. I’m so grateful for all those people in my life; they inspire and teach me every day. Being on a spiritual path can be a bit lonely so being surrounded by like-minded people is invaluable. Relations, friendships and connections that were made in the last 10 years are deeply cherished by me. They have a special place in my heart.
10. so much more to learn
In 10 years of regular Kundalini yoga practice, I’ve grown and transformed a lot. What I’m really excited about is how much more there is to be learnt. Every day, every week I get exhilarated about practicing it by myself and sharing it with others. I know there is so much to learn, heal and explore, reaching the wonderland of my consciousness.
My heart is full of gratitude for Kundalini yoga and all its blessings.
Thanks for reading, do you relate with any of the points? Let me know in the comments..